That hardest part of healing from heartbreaks is beginning the process, because the only way to begin is by first admitting that you are broken. That’s hard for many of us, because let’s face it, no one wants to admit there is something wrong with them, that they are not whole. I learned that recently. I had to acknowledge that I am broken. My heart was broken so many times over the years by so many people and I coped with each break by telling myself and everyone else that I was okay each and every time.
Your heart is a part of you, and if any part of you is broken, your whole being is broken and needs to be fixed. If you break an arm or a leg, you go to a doctor for mending because otherwise there are many things you would not be able to do. Not only that, the pain can be felt throughout your whole body because every part of you is connected. We look at heartbreaks differently. We don’t even consider them to be physical issues, but rather emotional, so we tell ourselves to get over it and not seek help. But what affects your heart also affects your mind.
Once I admitted to myself that I am broken, I began to pray specifically for healing. You will never seek help if you don’t first come to terms with the fact that you need help.
I recall each time my heart was broken. I had locked these memories away to not think of them ever again. At least that was the intent. I thought I was over the pain because I trained myself to focus on other things to not think of it, but the pain was always there. I just compartmentalized each instance and locked them away deep in the recesses of my memory. I would then enter into new relationships with my heart held together with psychological bandaids, just to have it broken again in a new place.
You can’t heal something by ignoring it. There is a saying, “Time heals all wounds”. That’s not true. The pain may lessen over time but the wound will still be there, festering until it is acknowledged and treated.
We’ve all had our hearts broken by that special someone, that family member, that very trusted friend, and we have moved on telling ourselves that we are okay. Keeping busy lifestyles to not have to deal with the hurt. Some of us will put physical distance between ourselves and those persons who hurt us for the sake of self-preservation while others stay in toxic, co-dependent relationships, hoping against hope for a positive change.
Often we choose to not deal with the heartbreaks because it seems to be less painful to ignore them by “moving forward”. The dangerous thing about ignoring the past hurts is that they never go away and they color the lens that we see life through. It lowers our hope meter. The lingering pain makes us cynical and less trusting of everyone around us. It makes us fearful of beginning new relationships. We are happy for others when we see them happy with their loved ones and we wish we could experience that but are afraid because the memory of the past hurts still haunts us.
Recognizing your wounds, your brokenness, is critical for self-care and restoration. Taking care of your spirit and your soul is as important as caring for your body.